A Cog Building Poem
I saw a 5-story on the street
I wondered what cogs we'd meet
This mouse said we should go inside
Didn't think we'd make it out alive
So I got a few friends together
To bring them it took forever
So at once we all jumped in
Just knowing that we would win
So we arrived on the first story
4 stories away from glory
On this floor we met a Pickpocket
From whom I had to get a sprocket
So I slammed a pie in his face-BOOM
And the little cog met his doom
But all wasn't over, because there was more
A Fraudster and a Fundraiser walked out the door
So we dealt with them, and swifty too
And on we went to story two.
The twin doors opened and we all ran out
The cogs didn't know what the fuss was about
But we'd come to fight them, most important of all
To bump off these cogs, mean, lean and tall
A Forex Trader and Asset Manager stood in the way
But they weren't the only cogs we'd encounter today
Because a Market Analyst waddled right into the fight
With its cog health meter shining green and bright (but not for long)
We bust them up, mostly thanks to me
And so we advanced to story three.
Now story three was a little tougher you see
With 3 angry cogs staring at me.
Value Vulture, Cashflow Croc and Mortgage Monster were there
"I'll use lure on 'em," said an orange bear.
So he took out those hypno-goggles and did his best
He lured the vulture, but couldn't get the rest
The vulture was stupid and fell right through a trap
Falling back onto the floor with a resounding "SLAP"
He spun his torso and exploded on the spot
Leaving just a tiny cog gear the size of a dot
The other two cogs felt angry for their friend
And vowed to battle 'till the end
So we fought and we fought
In the midst of the onslaught
I birthday-caked the furious croc
And caused him anaphylactic shock
While my toon comrades broke the Monster's ears
And to this day the only sound it hears
Is the sound of silence, loud and clear.
The cogs were beaten, there was no more
So we sallied fourth to story four
Now there wasn't a floor quite like No.4
They were the same cogs we'd fought before
Except this time a Black-Adder was around
Who vowed to have us toons tied and bound
So what did we do? We resisted of course
And our resistance was led by a purple horse
She dropped an anvil on the vulture's head
And tossed a fruit pie to ensure it was dead
A red dog used sound on the other three
And as for the waterworks, that was up to me
I hosed down the skelecog, and left him soaking wet
And a drenched Mortgage Monster sure had a reason to fret
The water had ruined his entire suit
And was covered in fluid from head to foot
The croc on the other hand, missed every attack
Taking all opportunities to strike us back
A pie slice, a squirt gun, quicksand to make him drown
But this old cog just wouldn't go down!
And that mouse's laff was a completely different story
As the situation became more gory
We barely managed to make it through
I told the horse "It's all thanks to you!"
"No problem," she replied, "We worked as a team."
But there was just one thing preventing the coming of our dream
The menacing, malevolent last floor
In which the cogs had to settle a score
So honouring our promises to continually strive
We marched onwards to story five.
The elevator brought us face-to-face
With some of the meanest cogs in the place
Property Piranha, Tax Lion and Bloomberg stared us down
Their faces twisted in a stern, angry frown
And quicker than a football coin toss
The Bloomberg exclaimed "I'm the boss."
So as per usual we let the pies fly
Those gooey things soared ceiling-high
But all of a sudden "Oh rats" the bear hissed
And there a good reason-our gags had MISSED.
Off they went by, without a trace
An angry scowl forming on my face
These cogs played dirty, these cogs were unfair
These cogs fought right down to the last hair
Picking off my comrades one by one
Until the game was no longer any fun.
First went the mouse, for all his hard work
Was condemned to the playground, healing treasures to lurk
He was caught off guard, swept off his feet
Defeated by none other than the lethal tax sheet
Then the axe fell on the horse's neck
Banished forever to the lower deck
A single bite from a cold-hearted fish
Blotted out her very last wish (to complete the building)
For even though she was the heart and soul (of the team)
The effect of 4 previous stories had taken its toll
As the once-great horse collapsed like a ragdoll.
Third in line was the bright orange bear
Who was in a position to accept any dare
The mighty fish had struck again
Leaving a laff defecit of ten
A chomp off the old block
Sent big old grizzly growling back to the dock.
That was it, 3 were gone-it was down to me
But I took a golf ball to the knee
As the great cog cried "Off to tee!"
With my options shrinking, and time running out
My chances of victory I began to doubt
With one last push, I dropped a safe from up high
But the big bot just wouldn't die.
The boss of the room said, "It's the pound for you."
And with that, got rid of me too.
But the weapon that was the death of me
Was the the ever so crucial power key
And so alas, the end of our dreams
As our plan of action burst into seams.